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Sulat mula sa isang Canadian…. Marso 10, 2007

Posted by emperorbananaketchup in Life, pulitika, religion.
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5 comments

Natagpuan ko ito na sa “Local & Foreign Issues” thread ng PinoyExchange.com.  Ito’y isang sulat na in-email ng isang Canadian sa kanyang kaibigang Pinoy.   

50. Where the most happening places are not where the party is. Instead it is where the gang wars happen, where women strip and where the people overthrow a president.

49. Where even doctors, lawyers and engineers are unemployed.

48. Where everyone has his personal ghost story and superstition

47. Where mountains like Makiling and Banahaw are considered holy places.

46. Where everything can be forged.

45. Where school is considered the second home and the mall considered the third.

44. Where Starbucks coffee is more expensive than gas. It is considered a status symbol (pa-sosyal) to have a steaming cup of Starbucks coffee…in a very very hot and humid country (Why not a cold Coke instead?…but they must have a Starbucks, even if some can’t anymore buy food for the family afterwards).

43. Where every street has a basketball court and every town has only one public school.

42. Where all kinds of animals are edible.

41. Where people speak all kinds of languages, and still call it Tagalog and where it is fast becoming unfashionable to speak English/Spanish.

40. Where students pay more money than they will earn afterwards.

39. Where call-center employees earn more money than teachers and nurses, where doctors study to become nurses for employment abroad.

38. Where driving 4 kilometers can take as much as four hours.

37. Where flyovers bring you from the freeway to the side streets.

36. Where the tourist spots are where Filipinos do not (or cannot) go.

35. Where the personal computer is mainly used for games and Friendster (and for looking up prospective internet pals from abroad).

34. Where all 13-year-olds are alcoholic.

33. Where colonial mentality is dishonestly denied.

32. Where 4 a.m. is not even considered bedtime yet.

31. Where people can pay to defy the law.

30. Where everything and everyone is spoofed.

29. Where even the poverty-stricken get to wear Ralph Lauren and Tommy Hilfiger (peke)!

28. Where the honking of car horns is a way of life.

27. Where being called a bum is never offensive.

26. Where floodwaters take up more than 90 percent of the streets during the rainy season.

25. Where everyone has a relative abroad who keeps them alive.

24. Where crossing the street involves running for your dear life.

23. Where wearing your national colors makes you a bad guy.

22. Where billiards is a sport, and darts is a bar game.

21. Where even the poverty-stricken have the latest cell phones. (GSM-Galing Sa Magnanakaw)

20. Where insurance does not work.

19. Where water can only be classified as tap and dirty – clean water is for sale (35 pesos per gallon).

18. Where the church governs the people (owwss!!!) and where the government makes the people pray for miracles. (Amen to that!)

17. Where University of the Philippines is where all the weird people go. Ateneo is where all the nerds go. La Salle is where all the Chinese go. College of Saint Benilde is where all the stupid Chinese go, and University of Asia and the Pacific is where all the irrelevantly rich people go.

16. Where fast food is a diet meal and costs a day’s pay of an ordinary office worker.

15. Where traffic signs are merely suggestions, not regulations.

14. Where all the trees in the city are below six feet.

13. Where being held up is normal. It happens to everyone.

12. Where kids dream of becoming pilots, doctors and basketball players.

11. Where rodents are normal house pets.

10. Where the definition of traffic is the “non-movement” of vehicles.

9. Where the fighter planes of the 1940s are used for military engagements, and the new fighter planes are displayed in museums.

8. Where Nora Aunor is an acclaimed actress and Boy Abunda is the best talk show host; where the population knows more their showbiz stars better than their national heroes and past presidents; knows more of showbiz gossips than their national history and current events.

7. Where cigarettes and alcohol are a necessity, and where the lottery is a commodity.

6. Where soap operas tell the realities of life and where the news provides the drama.

5. Where actors make the rules and where politicians provide the entertainment (this is already known worldwide…makes us laughing stock in the workplace).

4. Where finding a deer on the road will be a phenomenon.

3. Where people can get away with stealing trillions of pesos, but not for a thousand.

2. Where being an hour late is still considered punctual. (Grabe talaga ‘to!)

1. Where the squatters have more to complain (even if they do not pay their tax) than those employed and have their tax automatically deducted from their salaries. And finally……

0. Where everyone wants to leave the country!!!

Ano sa tingin mo…kailangan ba ma-i-trackdown kung sino ang nagdala nito???  Should we take any concerted diplomatic action…dapat ba i-boycott lahat ng mga gawang-Canada? 

Mga nakakatawang at nakakatakang pamagat sa pelikulang Pilipino Marso 7, 2007

Posted by emperorbananaketchup in pelikula.
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3 comments

Habang napapansin na ang lakas ng utang loob ipininakit ng batikang Hollywood director na si Quentin Tarantino sa mga obra ni Cirio H. Santiago , maalala ko nga na noong mga dekadang setenta’t ochenta habang isa sa mga namamayani ang pamilyang Santiago sa larangan ng pagproprodyus ng pelikulang Pilipino, doon lumalaganap ang sandamukal ng mga nakakataka’t nakakatuwang mga titulo.  Habang ngayon, kadalasan mga titulo ng mga pelikula’y hinahango sa mga sikat na kanta sa radyo, karamihan sa mga titulo noon ay hinahango sa mga ila’t-ilang sikat na pelikula pawang gawa sa Hollywood. 

Sa tingin ko, ang Hari ng Komedyang Pilipino na si Dolphy ay isang masasabing “fan” ng Hollywood, sapagkat karamihan mga ginawang pelikula gumamit ng mga pamagat na-inspire ng Hollywood.  Katulad ng “Home Along the Riles” na hinango sa blockbuster na “Home Alone”…nagsimula bilang isang TV series sa 1992, nagkaroon pa ng dalawang pelikula bago lumipat sila sa “Riber” sa 2002.  Pagkatapos ng isang taon, napadpad ang TV series sa tabi ng “Airport” sa 2003.

Nandito ang mga

Tataynic (1998) – “Titanic”
Og Must Be Crazy (1990) – “Gods Must Be Crazy”
Goatbuster (sa Templo ni Dune) (1985)  – di lang “Ghostbusters”. pati ang “Dune” at “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom”
Dancing Master (1979) & Dancing Masters 2 (Hongkong) (1982) – “Drunken Master” ni Jackie Chan
Dolphy’s Angels (1980) – “Charlie’s Angels”
Omeng Satanasia (1977) – “The Omen” (original) 
Taho-ichi (1976) – “Zatoichi” isang sikat ng seryeng Hapon na ang bida’y isang ronin (naglalakbay na samurai walang amo) na me bitbit na bata
Happy Days Are Here Again (1975/I) – “Happy Days” TV series(??)
Private Ompong and the Sexy Dozen (1968) – “The Dirty Dozen”
James Batman (1966) – one-two punch!! Di lang siya pang-James Bond, pang-Batman pa!!!
Tansan vs. Tarsan (1963) & Tansan the Mighty (1962) – “Tarzan” ni Edgar Rice Burroughs
Adolphong Hitler (????) – “The Great Dictator” ni Charlie Chaplin (?)
Dolphinger (????) – “Goldfinger”
Gengis Bond (????) – isa pang one-two punch!! Di lang siya pang-James Bond, pang-Genghis Khan pa!!!
Kisame Street (????) – “Sesame Street”
Operation Butterball (????) – “Thunderball” (????)

Kung nandoon si Dolphy (at ang sidekick niyang ang sumakaliwang buhay na si Panchito), di maaring maiiwan si Chiquito.  Minsan mahahalata ang pag-aagaw sila ng konsepto sa isa’t isa.

Estong Tutong, ikalawang yugto (1983) – ang kanyang tribute sa “E.T.” ni Steven Spielberg
Lasing Masters (1981) – Isa rin katatawanan hinango sa pelikulang “Drunken Master” ni Jackie Chan, pero mas malapit sa pagsasalin ang titulo
James Bondat (1970) – Bawat yapak ni Pidol, di nga mahuhuli talaga si To-Chi-Qui…                                                            Laugh Story (1970) – Isa rin pamagat sinikwat sa isang pelikulang Hollywood, ang kasisikat lang noon na “Love Story” ni Ryan O’Neal at Ali McGraw 
The Hornets (1968) – “Kato & the Green Hornet” (????)
The Magnificent Zorro (1968) – Walang batbat si Antonio Banderas sa Zorrong ito !!!!

Nandito rin matatagpuan mga ibang pamagat na minsan nakakataka kung paano makakalusot sa panahon ngayon na humihigpit mga malalaking bansa katulad ng US sa larangan ng copyrights.   

Temptation Island (ang walang-kamatayang obramaestra ni Joey Gosiengfiao; nagtataka kung bakit di nagsampa ng kaso si Mother Lily noong inilabas sa US ang reality show na kapamagat ilang taon na dumaan)
Mekeni’s Gold
Napoleon Doble
Super Wan-Tu-Tri
& Zoom Zoom Superman (tayo nga Pinoy, sobrang adik talaga kay Superman)    
Si Popeye Atbp. (noong bata pa ako, ang akala ko yung pangalan ng kalaban ni Popeye ay si Brutus.  Eh, si Bluto pala…naging kapangalan niya ang karakter ng yumaong si John Belushi sa “National Lampoon’s Animal House”)                                                                          Ang Starzan series ni Joey de Leon (may anime pala dati sa Japan na ang pamagat ay Starzan-S)

Nandito rito ilang mga posters mula sa malalapit na ipapalabas ng bagong pelikula ni Quentin Tarantino na kasama niya si Robert Rodriguez .

Grindhouse poster

Grindhouse poster double bill

Cirio H. Santiago filmography sa Amazon.com 

www.grindhousemovie.net